Empowering Kids to Face Peer Pressure and Alcohol

Miami Kids Magazine Interview with Meri Shadley, Ph.D.

In today’s world, children are exposed to mature topics earlier than ever before, including alcohol. That’s why experts like Meri Shadley, Ph.D., recommend starting conversations about alcohol before middle school. Kids in middle school face increased peer pressure and are beginning to form their own values. Early conversations help prepare them for decisions they’ll soon be making.

“Alcohol is a social norm in our culture,” says Dr. Shadley. “The earlier we help children understand its effects and risks, the better prepared they’ll be.”

When speaking with tweens and early teens (ages 11–14), Dr. Shadley encourages parents to start by asking what their children already know. Many kids learn about alcohol in school by 4th or 5th grade and may surprise you with their knowledge. From there, she suggests asking open-ended questions like:

• Why do you think adults make such a big deal about kids drinking?

• Do you know why alcohol is considered a drug?

• What do you think drinking might feel or taste like?

Parental behavior plays a huge role in shaping a child’s relationship with alcohol. Kids watch closely. If a parent drinks regularly, it’s important to vary behavior and explain choices, like why you’re skipping alcohol for a while (try Sober January!). Most importantly, be honest if your child asks about your drinking. Admitting mistakes and discussing choices models responsibility and openness.

Creating a safe, judgment-free space for conversations helps children feel supported rather than shamed. Roleplay social scenarios, talk about peer pressure, and remind your child they can always come to you. Avoid isolating them from peers—it leads to secrecy, not safety.

Dr. Shadley also advises watching for warning signs of alcohol use, such as secrecy, changes in grades, rule-breaking, or tampered alcohol at home.

Common parenting pitfalls include assuming rules alone will prevent use, being too trusting, or sending mixed messages through adult drinking habits. Instead, set clear expectations, use natural consequences, and keep communication open.

Finally, for families with a history of addiction, Dr. Shadley stresses the importance of open dialogue: “Talk about vulnerabilities. Don’t keep secrets. Prevention starts with honest, supportive relationships.”

Through connection, guidance, and honest conversations, parents can build the foundation their children need to make healthy choices—even in a world where alcohol is everywhere.