Are you a Guilty Mother?
Every mother feels guilt concerning their children, even the future Queen of England, Kate Middleton. In a recent People magazine interview, when asked if she felt any guilt concerning her three children, she was quoted as saying, “Anyone who doesn’t is lying; you’re always questioning your decisions and judgements”.
Mothers that feel guilt react in different ways; with anger, frustration, and hurt. It is terrible for a mother to feel that she is not good enough. Guilt is a painful emotion. Shame is a close second. On this upcoming Mother’s Day, let’s remove guilt from ourselves and express forgiveness to all other mothers that are experiencing it. Please express to another mom that they are not alone in their feelings and that “they got this”.
Mom guilt is a perception of a failure to measure up to an impossible standard and unrealistic expectation. Give a gift to yourself and let it go. While you are at it, make every effort not to say to other mothers anything that might be perceived as judgmental or negative.
I recall a particular birthday party for a boy turning two-years-old. The usual conversation among the young moms was all about their children and the milestones their little ones had achieved. One mom stated that she sits with her son every day with flash cards and that he can read simple books: way ahead of others. The immediate reaction that was the rest of us failed our toddlers because we chose a different daily activity instead of instructing the next baby genius. Moms bragged about sleeping through the night, potty training success, eating habits, making cupcakes by hand, and much more. Instead of simply enjoying watching our children having fun, we sat there feeling guilty about not being “Supermom”. I’m not even bringing up an area of conversation that addresses the working mom vs. the stay-at-home mom or the even worse guilty feelings of divorce that too many mothers experience.
Let it all go! Celebrate this Mother’s Day by loving being a mom, and knowing that you are doing the best you can.