“I do not know much; however, I like to study the human element. Since becoming a parent
12 years ago, I have changed my view and perspective on the world, significantly” Said
coach Nick, president of iSwim Academy.
This article is about “Loving your kids, where they are.” How can you be more present with
your kids without judging? How can you be there for them in the right moment? How can
you consistently love them where they are when they consistently need redirection and
guidance? How can I help them have a better life than I did?
Have you ever asked yourself any or all of those questions? I have many times. The
greatest gift you can give your child is your uninterrupted attention, time to listen to them
without judging. There’s that word again, “presence.” I am still not sure about that word. Try
to think of it like this, ask yourself, “Am I still breathing?” And then figure out the answer. I
realize this may sound silly; however, in order to truly know if you are still breathing, you
must be present with your breath and pay attention to nothing else. You are not judging
your breath or how you are breathing. It’s not too shallow or too deep, it’s just breath.
Practice counting to 10, with each inhale and exhale counted. Practice taking 5 complete
breaths with supreme focus and attention just on the inhale and exhales. Practice being in
the moment of your breath.
Try this exercise as you watch your children play and be children. Count your breaths
without judgment of your breathing or judgment of what your children are doing. Soon you
can move to do this exercise as you play with them, in whatever game they want to play,
however they want to play it, without your added judgment. What a gift you can give!! Your
uninterrupted, even by the voices in your head, attention and time to the thing you love
My wish for you is that this helps bring you closer to your child. Loving them where they are
is what they desire most. Giving them your fully present self is the greatest gift you can give
to anyone, especially your child.